I hate the fake Starbucks.

Dear Girl Working at the Barnes and Noble Cafe,

If I'm going to pay $1.75 plus tax for a blueberry muffin, I expect it to be a good muffin.

Also, when I order a Grande Caramel Frapp (because I'm so onto your lingo at this point) with a shot of espresso, don't warn me that it may be "liquidy" because of the espresso. I'm not paying four dollars for your disclaimers.

Love,
Tyler.