I hate older women who hang out in "hip" coffee shops.

Listen, lady, don't come in here to use the free wireless, mention that the owner of the place "should really display her artful bathroom mirrors somewhere," and then ask the barista to change her punk-rock music. "It's all fun, I understand that," you say, "but I really can't think with it playing so loudly!"

Go back to Starbucks and listen to the new Sheryl Crow. It'll really help you think while you sell your antiques on eBay.