I hate pancakes.

I've already written on this, but it deserves a second mention.

I haven't cooked in four days. I've been eating pears and oatmeal and going out. So this morning I noticed I have milk that is set to expire tomorrow and lots of eggbeaters. Pancakes, I think! Recently I learned how to turn down the flame on my burner, so I thought this was a manageable project.

I pour. I wait. Nothing happens. I attempt a flip. The pancake folds on itself. Another flip. It looks like scrambled eggs. Wtf?! I scrape into garbage disposal. Try again. Same deal. I get annoyed. I pour the rest of the batter into the pan. Scrambled pancakes.

Can you get samonella from eggbeaters? It was really hard to tell if everything was cooked through. It tasted delicious with a little butter and lemon juice, but I might be dying from food poisoning in an hour.