I hate grocery stores.

I hate big grocery stores. The light is too bright. The lights and the freezers make too much noise. There are too many colors. It's always freezing. There are too many products. There are too many brands. I get overwhelmed. I end up spending an hour looking at the ingredients listed on six different varieties of instant oatmeal, and then I walk out without buying anything. And when you walk out of a grocery store empty-handed, the employees always stare at you. Because who walks out of a gigantic grocery store without having found what they wanted? Grocery stores sell everything these days.

That's why I like my new grocery store. It's about twenty by fifteen feet big, it offers two varieties of every type of product, and no single item costs less than $4, ensuring that I will never purchase anything there.